Portuguese Chat Mate

Last night I chatted on the phone for over three hours with a woman I met online a few weeks ago. I really enjoyed our conversation and she makes me laugh. She lives in London and is from Portugal and I was very drawn to her lively and energetic style of communicating. The other thing that seriously struck me this time is how much her accent reminds me of my friend B who died a few years ago, when I last lived in the UK. I ended up telling her about B because at first it really threw me off - distracted me - when we were talking and I found myself deathly quiet, initially. Since I did not want her to think my silence was a signal of boredom or anything, I just told her and was glad I did as a result of our ensuing conversation.

I don't see us having a romance, but I suppose one never knows. I am just focusing on a friendship as I try to get away from this all or nothing attitude which I don't think has been serving me well in life. My priority is definitely to make more friends because I do think friends are very important and I have come to realise that my choice to have very few friends in my life has not really worked for me, especially when I go through challenging times (but beyond this, as well). I have always kept a limited number of close friends, mostly, because it seems easier. If someone is my close friend then I want to really be there for them and I guess I have felt that I am not able to be as attentive and reliable if I stretch myself too thin, trying to give myself to too many people. I think my current close friends have really liked this. Or is this an excuse for something else? I don't really know. Whatever it is, now I feel I want to make more friends -friends I enjoy and who possess the qualities I most appreciate (and those who appreciate the same in me).

Anyway, yeah, my Portuguese chat mate was great fun to laugh and talk about life with and I think we both learned a great deal from each other's perspective on life, which is always a great thing. We have been texting each other this morning while she is on her way to work and, poor thing, she is a bit tired this morning. We still managed to exchange a laugh on text, so that is nice.

She has suggested I come to London so we can meet up and go out to the theatre or something, so I might do that at a later time, when there is space in between studies.